mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
