the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
