Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
