I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
