i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
