Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
