She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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