Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
