tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
