HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize