Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
