You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
