I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
