Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
