I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
