She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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