and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
