That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
