Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
