Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize