Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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