just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
