Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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