it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
