Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
