He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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