I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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