I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize