Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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