You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
