I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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