My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
