A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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