Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
