anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
