My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
