shes about as inviting as chlamydia
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
