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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
