im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
