So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
