im drinking this country out of the recession.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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