is your mom at the bar?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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