He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's get the cat blown out
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
FUCK WHALES
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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