then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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