therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
