so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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