I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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