i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
