I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We had sex on a dog bed..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
