I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
false alarm. still invincible.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
