He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
