god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I want is dick and wine.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
