i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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