I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
