You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As shirtless as possible
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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