my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
